As much as I fought it and dragged my feet every step of the way...I am in love. It's a ridiculous, convaluted story and I'll spare you the details, other than to say that his absolute dedication and resolve had something to do with it. No matter what gauntlet I tried to throw down...or how I tried to wrap my little heart away in something tough and uncrackable (that isn't actually a word, it it?). He took it all in stride and just knew that I'd come around eventually and stop being scared of my own shadow when it comes to affairs of the heart.

I never allow myself to hope for the best when it comes to things like this. If I'm not emotionally vested, I can't get hurt, right? But this time, I don't care. This time I'm throwing caution to the wind. This time I realize that if this doesn't work out the way I hope it will, I could end up a complete wreck...and I'm still willing.

It feels very grown up, actually. To know the risks associated and be willing to give it the old college try. I want to write about how rad I think he is. But it's almost like something I feel can only be talked about in hushed whispers...like it might just...vaporize. I don't know, maybe I'm surperstitious. One day I'll write about who it is that has my head all spinny and my mouth all dry and my heart doing flip flops.

Other than that - it's work, work, work. Blah, blah, blah.

Et. cetera, et. cetera.

I don't know what else to say at the moment.

xo
J

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